A little word to the gentleman in the audience tonight; the backdoor is not the new front door and porn balls are not an every day menu item .What? you say. Back door is not the new front door? But...
Now, I know that all those porn stars out there are just screaming, "put it in my ass..." but, lets think about this. Do you really think Lassie was out running around saving little Jimmy when the cameras weren't on?
No! It's pretend. She doesn't really want you all up in her exit only all the time, maybe sometimes- but not everyfuckingday, okay?
The first step to changing a problem is to admit you have one. Now, if you could all just take a moment, think about it... how many times has she urged you to the front? Her mary, not her joseph? A few isn't it? It's okay, you can admit it. But, you just cowboy'd your way to the back, right? Yeah, some boys are funny that way....
It has become a wee bit o' an epidemic, and we just can't continue hiding from the issue. I know your girls been trying to tell you, but you just aren't hearing it.
Now, about those porn balls ( manscaping, thank you JW). We like the porn balls, we like that you have taken hygienic measures and upgraded your hairy bag to some lovely porn balls. However, please note, even though it sounds like corn balls- we don't want to be eat'n that shit all the time. I for one, don't want to be wearing your porn ball bow tie every night. Pretty? yes. Absolute sustenance? No.
We think it's pretty cute that your all proud of your porn balls, showin' them off every chance you get. We also secretly hope that you get a really nasty ingrown hair, so you can appreciate the shit we've had to put up with.
In closing, porn balls and bumgina's are good things. I n m o d e r a t i o n. Okay sweet cheeks?
Now, you go home and give that wonderful 'box your dick comes in,' or as we like to call it, that cunt of yours something wonderful. This time, knock at the front door. She will be so impressed with your new manners (courtesy of cuntface).
(The views expressed in this post are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views all cuntface members)
7 comments:
Thank you for setting the record straight, Pussy. Personally, I can't deal with any of it, even in moderation, but I am off the porn as a sex addict's wife.
I'm with you mpj- porn is evil in my union too. However, it seems as though the damage has been done. (Don't tell Pussy that I said that)
Amen to all of that.
It's all about the clitoris, 'kay?
And I say let's ALL remember the ingrown hair thing, lest everyone maintain unrealistic expectations about where hair does and does not grow on the postpubescent body. Whatever happened to bad '70s porn and all of its bad lighting and bad skin and hair all over the damned place.
I haven't seen porn balls in a long time. The last pair were pretty gnarly!
I think once you've had porn balls- it's a sin of some kind to allow your self to go back to the hairy bag.
It's a totally different thing, though, if I want to grow in my beaver pelt. I believe those dangly things are on the outside of the body to remain cool- nasty hair can only warm them up. It's not natural for them to be hairy.
And can I get a HELL YA on the clitoris- that and my cute g spot.
Bravo! I used to hate to hear the reminder, "Hey, when the front porch is painted, I'll go in the back door." Like hell, you will. Never did understand it and sex up the Dirty Road is so over rated.
LMAO....TOO FUNNY!
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