Okay, so I have gone over some of this in my own blog but it is getting increasingly more annoying. What the fuck is with people and the public transit system? Fucking animals. It's list time:
- Baby Strollers: There is no reason why a parent with a baby stroller should be traveling at rush hour. You are taking up valuable space on the subway. Also, if you are pushing a stroller, DO NOT use it as a jam to keep the doors of the subway open. If you do, you should have your child taken away from you. What the fuck were you thinking putting that kid in danger by having the doors close on them. Hello.... strollers are plastic and aluminum. It can break.
- Fat People: Not the over weight, but the obscenely fat ones. The seats on the subway fit a certain size. Just because i may not be filling my seat to the maximum capacity, this is not an invitation for you to take it over. You don't fit. Squeezing in and making me push over cause your fat ass wants to sit there is not cool. The fact that you can't fit in a seat should now make you ponder the bag of McDonald's you have in your hand that is making my stomach churn and wanting to retch on you. I have been over weight, but I made sure I never took myself to that level where i can't sit in that designated subway seat. Fat people, stand, burn calories, go walk even.
- Suits: Fucking business men. This is why i am an artist. I could never deal with these assholes on a daily basis. they are so fucking boring. Can you have real conversations about real life and not stupid pointless shit. I don't give a shit what your handicap in golf is. You people are scum eating off of other people pushing your way to the top. The totally sexist remarks you make about your coworkers would get you fired at any other job in the world, but for some reason it helps get you promoted in yours.......
- Indian Men: Where i live, there is a large Indian community. Awesome. Good food awaits. But the men, and remember, i take the train with them everyday, so this isn't a stereotype. They are fucking rude beyond rude. Okay, so i am a woman. Welcome to my fucking country asshole. But DO NOT push me out of the way to jockey for position or cut in front of me when leaving the train- you are going the same place i am, off the train. If you get off by squeezing past me urgently, you better be running once off the train like it is an emergency. But no. They push me out of the way to walk wicked fucking slowly. What the fuck? You are such a man! Look at your fucking stanky ass testicles. While we are at it, how about showering? There is nothing like the smell of Curry armpits in your face cause they also have no clue what personal space is about either. Did chivalry die when England left India?
- Personal Hygiene: Hello people.... the subway is no place to be sitting there and primping yourself. Do NOT cut your toenails or fingernails on the train. That is fucking disgusting. Just the thought of a flying fingernail landing on me.... or worse yet... in my coffee. Retch. That is fucking disgusting. That shit needs to be done in the privacy of your own home and your own bathroom. Same goes with makeup. It's a lost cause ladies. You are putting make up on a moving train that stops and shakes. That is what your face will look like. There is no saving you. Just wait until you get to work or go late, but i do not need your compact of loose powder flying around my face or to watch you come so close to poking your eyeball out with your eyeliner.
So those are my rants. This is what i put up with on a daily basis and people think there is no such thing as subway rage. Fuck yeah there is. I am close to it. If you hear of some woman losing it in a subway station, it may very easily be me.
6 comments:
Oh, that made me laugh until I sharted.
Great post! Those are some of the things that always made me crazy too!
Interesting. When I was in India, EVERYONE pushed and shoved. Someone told me later that the logic was that if someone really wanted to be at the front of the line, they probably had a good reason, so you should just go ahead and let them. I'll admit that that did not fly with me. They also had separate train cars for "the ladies." I shit you not. Interesting, eh?
Okay, this is a little off the topic, but I'm reminded that when I used to teach in a public school in NYC, the kids let me in on a secret that I, a white lady, would not otherwise have known: apparently, white people smell like garlic. Or salami. I think the Onion ran a list once called "Little Known Stereotypes"; this SHOULD have mad the list, at least I think so...
too many stinky white hippies stink like garlic and patchouli- bad hippies. I can say that 'cuase they're my parents and sister. Im only sort of lying. THis post made me laugh and laugh. I loved it. However, I got bad visual with the toenail cuttings in my coffee. People who do that should probably be arrested
you have the same kind of rants as me soul sista! i loved loved loved this!
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