Hey, I Hate My Hometown, Too.

Now I'm not telling you bitches where I live, but I will tell you that it's cold. It's cold, cold, cold. One day, when I grow up and make some money, I'm going to move to Florida.

For a while, I lived in Atlanta, and it was amazing. Everyone bitched about the heat, but I loved it. I loved owning tank tops. I loved showing off my body. I loved having summer. I loved my man in the summer, with that thin coat of sweat all over his body tasting just a little bit like salt. We don't get that much, here.

Here, we get this tepid little bullshit of a summer, and then more cold. It makes my pussy dry. The only thing that makes my pussy drier is the bullshit influx of college students that revisits this hell on earth every fall. Now that I'm older than them, they do nothing for me. They make the streets crowded and the traffic bad. They drive drunk and crash into things. When there's football, they drive drunker and crash into more things.